My secret beard progress doesn’t seem as noticeable today as
it did between day one and three. The goatee
area is noticeably more lush than the surrounding areas and doubt about my
ability to grow a full, sumptuous beard is beginning to creep in. Nevertheless,
I persevere – I am confident my Italian and Portuguese lineage won’t let me down.
Separately, it occurs to me that I don’t know at what point
a sideburn becomes a beard. In a Reddit discussion on the subject, one Redditor
opined that if there’s an endpoint, it’s a sideburn regardless of length, which
is difficult to argue with. Another posited that the point where the hair
starts to flare out across the cheek is the natural endpoint of a sideburn,
which also sounds logical. In any case, I
never imagined growing a secret beard would raise so many metaphysical
questions.
I find myself stroking my chin thoughtfully a lot more than before
I started to grow a beard. Perhaps I’m subconsciously trying to draw attention
to it as it hasn’t quite risen the stir in my household that I thought it would. Is it possible they know and don’t care? Surely
not – this is history in the making! Still, I may make a trip to the grocery
store to buy a proper razor to better delineate the line of my burgeoning growth
– the electric razor doesn’t do justice throwing it into sharp relief.
Afternoon Note: I just read an article sounding the
alarm that beards impede the effectiveness of face masks during the current
crisis. Would I rather improve my chances of staving off Corona by being clean
shaven or potentially risk my life growing a secret beard for my own amusement?
An impossible choice - I will have to ponder this for a while.
Evening Note: I brought up my secret beard to Asher
again and his response was “you’re growing a beard?” Outrageous! I indignantly reminded him that I told him my
plans two days ago, then turned the lamp I was sitting under to its highest
setting and made him come closer to appreciate my stubble crop. “Ohhh, yeah – yeah, I can see it,” he said in
an unmistakably placating way. You have wounded
me deeply, Asher – consider yourself banished from team secret beard (#teamsecretbeard).
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